Okay, continuing my out of order trend. This is a very recent piece but it is before Etheline loses her job at YADM - Yoga and Drinking Don't Mix. Etheline and Georgia are new roommates as Etheline has only recently moved into Georgia's basement suite (that she rents, not owns of course).
“Etheline?”
Georgia calls out to in the direction of the bathroom.
“Georgia?”
comes a muffled response.
“Have you
seen my latest New Yorker?”
“What?”
“My New
Yorker. It is the fiction issue and I
was in the middle of a really really good story and now I can’t seem to find
it.”
“No.”
“No, you
haven’t seen it?”
“No, I
haven’t seen it.”
The toilet
flushes and Georgia instinctively recoils.
Etheline
opens the bathroom door.
“Did you
wash your hands?” Georgia instinctively asks.
“Of course.”
“Well that’s
good.”
“I mean I
used my anti-bacterial gel.”
“Oh, do we
have that?”
“Well, I
do. I bring it everywhere I go.” Etheline holds up a small bottle.
“So you
don’t wash your hands?”
“I mainly
use this. I have to say, I haven’t had
diarrhea in years and years.”
“Wow,” says
Georgia, “That is truly remarkable. I
remember you told me that when I interviewed you about living here. That is quite amazing.” Georgia has the desire to pat Etheline on the
back. She resists.
“I attribute
it to good clean living, yoga, and anti-bacterial lotion. She holds up the bottle again and
unexpectedly throws it at Georgia. It
hits her on the arm.
“Sorry, I
thought you might want to see it.”
“I know what
anti-bacterial soap is.”
“Oh, yes of
course. I know that. Sorry, I thought you might catch it.”
“I wasn’t
expecting it.”
“No,
true. That’s true. Anyway, there is some of that vegan coffee
cake in the fridge if you would like a piece.”
Georgia has already
had several pieces, most small, off of the end so it wouldn’t be noticeable,
that kind of thing.
“What was I
saying?” asks Georgia.
“Something
about …”
“About …”
“About…”
“The New
Yorker. Have you seen my New Yorker I
was saying.”
“Oh that is
right. And I said no, no I hadn’t.”
“Ok. Hmmm.
I hope I find it. I was reading a
great short story about a woman who makes little coffee cakes for a living.”
“Cute.”
“No, that’s
just it. I wouldn’t think that kind of
story would be my thing but the character is so interesting and
introspective. She really knows herself. And I was just at the part with the twist
about the doctor having been wrong about her brain tumour.”
“Wow.”
“Yes she was
at the doctor with her sister there for support and the doctor has just begun
to tell her that she doesn’t in fact have a tumour.”
“Well, that
must be a relief for her and her sister.”
“And that is
the thing. The sister does not seem happy about this. She seems to take it as an affront. At least
that is how the main character observes it.”
“Well, where
were you when you were last reading it?”
“I think,
I’m pretty sure I was taking a bath.
Last night. You were out and so I was taking a long and enjoyable bath.”
“You were
taking a long and enjoyable bath because I was out?”
“Well, I
don’t like to do that when you are here because I don’t want to hog the
bathroom.”
“Oh that is
so nice.”
“Yup. Okay, what were we talking about?”
“The New
Yorker. The bath.”
“Right, yes.
Well, the last time I remember I was in the bath. Gosh, I was so relaxed. No matter how poor, unemployed, fat, lonely,
and/or distressed I am, oh also bored, a good New Yorker puts me right in the
relaxation zone.”
“I feel that
way about yoga of course and also being inside during a thunderstorm,
especially at night.”
“Oh I like
that too,” says Georgia.
Georgia and
Etheline smile at each other. Georgia feels like it is a moment.
“I can’t
seem to lose weight,” says Georgia, apropos of nothing.
“What? “Says
Etheline.
“Sorry, I
was just thinking aloud.”
“Well, that
can happen” says Etheline. “At our early morning class especially people often
randomly speak aloud.
“Really? “Says
Georgia, “In yoga?”
“Yes we
encourage that in certain classes. We call it flow with yoga. It is a chance to
decompress and let out whatever is on your mind, within reason.”
“Within
reason?”
“Yes. No
swearing, racist, sexist or homophobic comments or attempts at converting
anyone to your religion.”
“Wow. Does
that happen?”
“You would
be surprised. One fellow last year went on virulently about the coming
apocalypse and the four horsemen, I believe it was.”
“Geez.”
“Yes, so we
have a few rules in place. Also, no screaming. Inside voices we say.”
“Do you ever
take this class?”
“Well, I’m
usually busy either at the front desk or overseeing the bannock workshop but I
have, yes. It was very refreshing. The unconscious mind brings a lot
forward. I spoke of a tree that was in
the yard of the home I shared with my first husband.”
“Your
first?”
“Yes. Gosh, he has been dead now for what is it, 17 years? Yes 17 the month after next.”
“Yes. Gosh, he has been dead now for what is it, 17 years? Yes 17 the month after next.”
“Oh, sorry
you never said – “
“Well, no. I mean we had been divorced for years when he
feel off the trampoline. It was so random but isn’t that the way of life.”
“Wait a
minute. Was that in Vancouver – I seem
to remember –“
“Well, there
were two tramp accidents that year. His was in North –“
“North
Vancouver! Yes, of course! He was the man who –“
“Fell off
the trampoline onto the highway at the top of the cut. Yes, that was Bob.”
“Oh my god –
“
“It was
quite the thing. Laws were brought in
after that. Bob’s Law – no more trampolines within so many metres of a highway
or by way.”
“I remember
this! What a small world.”
“It really
is, isn’t it?”
Georgia and
Etheline smile at each other again.
“Well, I
guess – I’m going to scour the bathroom again for my magazine.”
“I didn’t
see it but you never know.”
“And then I
will check my room again. It is a mystery.”
“A true
mystery.”
“Etheline?”
“Georgia?”
“I really
enjoyed our conversation. It is nice to
get to know each other better.”
“It is. You
should come to our yoga and flow. It’s a
bit early at 5 am but since it is within walking distance …”
“Jesus,”
says Georgia.
“Yes, a bit
early.”
“If I have
to get up for 5 am then I will wake up at 3 am in anticipation.”
“Oh, can you
set your alarm?”
“It won’t
make a difference. My body will just
wake up. I guess I could just stay up
but that seems a little – “
“Drastic .Do
you have this class at any other time?”
“Yes 11:30
pm on every second Tuesday night and every full moon at 7:30.”
“
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